The Calvinator

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< > February 2008

• Fri, Feb 8, 2008 9:00 PM

  Boys Against Girl
  
  Ok, so we all know Joep is a turd. And I have reason to believe he's grooming Calvin to be his Junior Executive Assistant Turd.
  
  This morning, Joep was being a punk because I told him he had to wear a tie when we go out tomorrow night with some friends of ours. And my GOD, you'd think I'd just asked him to donate both lungs or something because he reacted about the same.
  
  Because he's incapable of being an adult sometimes (and so am I, but that's another story entirely), he decided to tell Calvin to torture me during the entire commute after dropping him off at his office (about a half hour).
  
  And by torture, I mean he told Calvin to ask about every. single. sign. he spotted. He also told him to point out every single stoplight. And since we see approximately 657 signs and pass through approximately 984 stoplights, and Calvin doesn't know what it means to be simply a spectator, this was just cruel.
  
  After we dropped Joep off, Calvin and I had the following conversation:
  
  Calvin: Papa told me something.
  
  Me: Oh yeah?
  
  Calvin: Yeah. He told me I should show you all the stoplights and he'd give me fruit snacks.
  
  Me: Papa sure is a stinker, huh? What are we going to do with him?
  
  Calvin: *slight pause*
  
  Calvin: I like fruit snacks.
  
  Did you catch that? My 5-year-old just threatened me.

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