The Calvinator

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< > April 2007

• Wed, Apr 25, 2007 8:00 PM

  BECAUSE.
  
  So Calvin has been on a "WHY?" kick lately. Coincidentally, Joep & I have recently started drinking.
  
  The past couple weeks have been full of question and answer sessions, followed by more questions because the answers (though they answered the question), weren't adequate.
  
  Example #1:
  
  Calvin regularly asks why he cannot stay up past his bedtime. And though we tell him every time it's because he's worse than I am when he wakes up in the morning, he still wants to know why.
  
  Unfortunately, I don't know why he's worse in the morning than I am. I didn't think that was possible either. So I guess I can't answer that question. But I incorrectly assumed that the fact that Joep & I have to put up with an extra-grumpy 4-year-old was a good enough reason.
  
  Not so. We're still fighting that battle.
  
  Example #2:
  
  Calvin routinely asks why he should feed the cats every evening. When we explain that if he doesn't, the cats will starve, he asks why. When we explain that people and animals need to food to live, he asks why.
  
  At that point, we try another angle and ask Calvin how would he like it if we stopped feeding him? He asks why.
  
  So I've basically come to the conclusion that no answer will suffice. No matter how matter-of-fact it is and no matter how air-tight my logic is, Calvin is genetically programmed to ask, "why?" each and every time. I think he may short-circuit if he doesn't.
  
  And so help me GOD, I swore I would never tell my child, "because I said so!". I always considered it such a ridiculous phrase; a cop-out. Though now I realize that if I want to preserve my sanity (and my liver), I just have to suck it up and utter the words I used to despise.
  
  Unfortunately, it's not 100%. Sometimes Calvin's program will override my attempts at shutting him down, however, it still works better than logic.
  
  Which, in a way, actually makes perfect sense. I am his mother and I've never made sense.

  Comments:

  Bonnie:  Other answers to persistent
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• Tue, Apr 24, 2007 8:00 PM

  I Guess I Know My Place
  
  The other night I was tucking Calvin into bed when the following conversation took place:
  
  "Mama, I don't want to sleep in my bed; I want to sleep in your bed."
  
  "Silly, you can't sleep in our bed - this is your big-boy bed."
  
  "But I want to sleep in YOUR bed."
  
  "You can't sleep in our bed. Where will you fit?"
  
  "I'll sleep in Papa's spot."
  
  "Then where will Papa sleep?"
  
  "Your spot."
  
  "Well where would I sleep??"
  
  "My bed."
  
  I'm not entirely sure what they're plotting, but I'm entirely sure I'm not going to like it.

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