The Calvinator

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< > November 2007

• Fri, Nov 16, 2007 10:00 PM

  Delusions of Grandeur, Part Deux
  
  So I got a wild hair up my ass last weekend to trim Calvin's hair. But not with the usual razor, mind you. No no no, I thought I'd use scissors to trim the top a little and then continue, as usual, with the razor for the sides and back.
  
  So I set him down against his will last Sunday evening, got my cup of water, a fine-toothed comb, and a brand-spankin'-new pair of scissors, and got to work; trimming a little here, trimming a little there.
  
  And I thought to myself, "Oh! How cute! I can't believe I did such a good job! This is easy-peasy; I can totally do this from now on!"
  
  And then Calvin's hair dried.
  
  And it was revealed to me that I have (to quote one of my favorite people), "the [cutting] skills of an epileptic monkey". (Proper props to Steve below.)
  
  My son had PATCHES missing from his hair. PATCHES. Of hair. Gone.
  
  Hanging my head in shame, I asked Joep to clean up my mess that night while I was at school and not only did he have to buzz Calvin's hair all over, but he had to do it on the lowest setting in order to make it even. Our son is as close to being bald as he can be while still having hair.
  
  And because Calvin has such fine, white hair, he basically looks bald unless you're standing right behind him with a magnifying glass.
  
  So there you go. I've learned my lesson. My scissor rights have been revoked and I am on probation until further notice. Or until Calvin's hair grows back and I forget all about this incident and try again.
  
  P.S. No, there are no pictures yet. We're packing for the Netherlands and I don't even have time to wipe my nose, let alone take, resize & post pictures of my bald baby. I promise that there is pictorial record of this, however, and I will share it when we get back.
  
  P.P.S. Credit to Steve for the quote up above: http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000398.php You just go ahead and read that and try to keep a straight face.

  Comments:

  Bart:  Poor Calvin! Make sure to bring a hat or something, cause it's cold out here!!
  
  Great story though, can't wait to see you guys!
  
  Have a good flight!
  
  Bart
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