The Calvinator

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< > May 2005

• Wed, May 18, 2005 7:00 AM

  The Epitome of Determination (or Delusion)
  
  I watched Calvin this weekend chasing rabbits around our backyard, determined to catch them even though his average speed of 0.2 mph was a far cry from the rabbits' 10 mph.
  
  Nothing was stopping that child from believing HE COULD CATCH those rabbits. And while you may initially think Calvin is just delusional (and you may be right), I prefer to think he's just determined. And stubborn. After all, he IS my son.
  
  P.S. If you could contact my mom (Grandma Linda) and pester her about sending the photos from this past weekend so I can put them on this site, I'm sure she'll greatly appreciate it.

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• Thu, May 12, 2005 8:00 PM

  The First Of Many Betrayals
  
  I picked up Calvin from his temporary day prison the other day and chatted for a few minutes with the prison ward before leaving to pick up Joep from work.
  
  As Calvin and I walked to the car, he called after the prison ward, "Bye bye, Gamma!" and 200 miles away, my mom's heart shattered into a thousand pieces (for reasons still unknown to her).
  
  I'm not sure exactly why Calvin decided to take it upon himself to completely write us all out of the will. Prison Ward's name doesn't sound anything like "Gamma" and her house doesn't look a thing like my mom's. Yet every time I drop him off in the morning, he declares, "Gamma's HOUSE!" from the backseat. I can only assume Joep has been replacing his daily Flintstone vitamin with some sort of psychotropic substance.
  
  Because I was raised to be evil, I called up my mom and had the audacity to tattle on her grandson.
  
  "Mom, do you know what your grandson did? And do you know how mean I am for telling you what he did considering I know it's going to break your heart?"
  
  Yep. I'm THAT evil. I told my mom of Calvin's betrayal (sshh, don't tell Calvin I told on him) and then laughed about it. Luckily, my mom's a good sport and laughed with me about it, while reminding me to remind Calvin WHO HIS GRAMMA LINDA REALLY IS.
  
  I wouldn't mess with her Calvin; she has the all-access pass to the recyclables, you know.

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