The Calvinator » March 2005 Journal Entries » AboutMyBaby - online baby scrapbooks, photo albums, videos, birth and pregnancy announcements

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Thu, Mar 24, 2005 6:00 PM
2 Going on 13

I was just thinking last night that 2 years old is FAR TOO YOUNG TO BE TALKING BACK TO YOUR MOTHER.

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Wed, Mar 16, 2005 6:00 AM
Over the River and Through the Woods

Since we are day prison-less this week and since my mom would totally write me out of the will if I didn't oblige, Calvin is spending the week with his Grandma Linda.

Which means the amount of Grandma Syndrome Joep & I are going to have to undo after Friday will be a feat deserving of canonization.

My mom called me at work Monday afternoon to ask if our child EVER EATS HOT FOOD, EVER?! I told of course he did, but not when there's a grandma to offer grapes (GAPES!). I then told her to stop giving him so many damn grapes (GAPES!), to which she replied, "But he likes them!" Apparently Calvin has quickly grasped the concept that Grandma will give him ANYTHING if he either,

a) throws a big enough fit,
b) attacks her with a flurry of, "peas?", or
c) is her grandson.

Of course I can't say anything since those damn "peas" get me every. single. time.

This week is going faster than I thought it would. I miss Calvin like I'd miss an appendage and while it's nice to have a night out with Joep without having to worry about a babysitter or bedtimes, I'd gladly give that up for the regular doses of baby Calvin hugs and kisses I'm missing out on this week. Now when I wake up, instead of seeing a grinning toddler, I see a door to a room with a crib, dresser, rocking chair, toybox, books and toys, but no baby.

It's insanely quiet in the house and at first, Joep and I were drunk with freedom. Oh, what possibilities! Movie night! No bedtimes! Grocery shopping at midnight when the lines don't go on for miles!

But now we find ourselves sobering up and missing The Monkey, even though we know he's having a blast at Grandma's house.

We miss you, Monkey! Have a wonderful time with Grandma, but if you could do us a favor and at least PRETEND to have missed us when you come back, it will be much appreciated.

Oh, and go easy on the Grandma Syndrome, ok?

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Thu, Mar 10, 2005 8:00 AM
Off The Richter Scale

Last night we had Calvin evaluated by a speech therapist to determine once and for all whether or not he was experiencing a speech delay.

We spent all of 5 minutes with the speech therapist and a clinical coordinator before they determined that while Calvin is slightly behind in vocal communication, they see no need for early intervention. There is a wide range of what's normal at this age and he's not even close to the range that would require extra help. Read: He's FINE.

I want you all to know that the resounding, "I TOLD YOU SO, KATHLEEN!" just knocked me off my chair.

Yeah, you told me so. But have I not proved that I worry? A lot? And I'm pleased to report that I have stopped worrying regarding Calvin's speech development. Alright! One less thing to worry about! Oh, don't worry, I'll find something else.

While we were in the waiting room, Calvin busied himself with gobs and GOBS of brand new toys that he tried his very hardest to figure out how to take home with him (prying those toys away from him later when it was time to go home caused shrieks and screams so loud they shattered windows). In the middle of it all, Calvin had accumulated as many toy cars he could find and relocated them to an area of the play room safe from other children, because GOD FORBID someone else touch the toy cars that WEREN'T HIS.

After he had successfully transferred the cars into his Safe Zone, he squatted down to rearrange them to his liking (OCD tendencies already, dear god help me) and as he did so, he nearly blew a hole in the floor.

The magnitude of the expulsion of this particular pocket of intestinal gas shredded his pants and blew the doors off their hinges. The walls rattled, frames fell to the floor, chairs were overturned and nearby car alarms were set off. One poor soul that was sitting too close to him lost her eyebrows in the blast and had to be fitted for a hearing aid.

It was THAT loud, people. One lady in the corner was laughing so hard she actually produced tears. I laughed my embarrassed laugh and exclaimed, "Excuse you, Calvin?!" A veteran mother nearby muttered, "Not until he's 5, lady. And even then, don't hold your breath."

Clearly she's just jaded, right? My delightfully polite 'Peas' & 'Tit You' child will most certainly not fart in public like that again, right? Yeah I know, I must still be high from the fumes. I couldn't type that with a straight face either.

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Mon, Mar 7, 2005 6:00 PM
This morning I introduced our son to the wonderous magic that is, "The Smurfs". Whoa, did you catch that 80s flashback?

Oh, how I love vacation days and spending more than 3 hours per day with my CHILD.

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Sat, Mar 5, 2005 8:00 AM
Like Mother, Like Son (a.k.a. Oh, Crap)

The other morning, after Calvin & I dropped off Joep at work before heading to Day Prison, Calvin spotted a car in the parking lot of Joep's office. This car was politely waiting for me since I had the right-of-way and as I accelerated to leave the parking lot, Calvin bellowed, "GO!" from the backseat.

It didn't occur to me until later that Calvin was mimicking MY very reaction when cars wait that extra millisecond before moving out of my way. Because that extra millisecond totally determines whether or not I make that green light and make it to work an extra 2.1 minutes earlier.

It then occurred to me that perhaps I should make an even bigger effort to curb the rest of my colorful driving phrases before Calvin begins to mimic my slightly less funny reactions. You know, those reactions that cannot be repeated without repercussions when he hits kindergarten? Because all those time-outs he'll be participating in will totally be my fault. And I don't think I can live with that guilt.

P.S. To everyone who has called and emailed about how I haven't posted new photos in what seems like years and WHEN WILL I POST SOME NEW ONES?!: I promise I will have some soon. But if you could call the house and harrass Joep until he scans them, it will be a whole lot sooner.

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