The Calvinator

October 2005

  • Mon, Oct 31, 2005 8:00 PM

    Statistics

    Severity of Calvin's tantrums when we forced him to put on his devil costume: HIGH

    Number of houses he cried at before realizing he was getting free candy: 3

    Number of houses he then willingly (and excitedly) approached in order to receive said candy: At least 12

    Pounds of candy received: About 30

    Pounds of candy distributed: About 100

    Pieces of candy Calvin sampled before passing on to Papa: WAY TOO MANY

    Pieces of candy Calvin sampled and actually ate: We lost count

    Number of trick-or-treaters that came to our house: 987,654,321

    Number of trick-or-treaters that were visibly impressed by our jack-o-lanterns: 10

    Number of trick-or-treaters that were still visibly impressed by our jack-o-lanterns after finding out we cheated and used a pattern: 0

    Number of trick-or-treaters that commented, "Wow, you have a lot of cats!": 12

    Number of trick-or-treaters that asked to pet our cats: 6

    Number of ways Milhouse plotted our deaths after we let random kids pet her: 167

    How good Calvin was about handing out candy: Scarily good

    How many times Calvin attacked Joep with his pitchfork: 8

    How hard I laughed: hehehehehehe

    Level of hyper we've reachd by 8:00 pm: Off the charts

    How much we're dreading putting Calvin to bed this evening: You have no idea.

    Number of cavities resulting from this evening: At least 5

    Number of pictures taken in the past 2 hours: 96

    How excited we all are to do it again next year: Ridiculously

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  • Sun, Oct 16, 2005 5:47 PM

    THE WHINING IS OUT OF CONTROL

    So the whining is in full-on Outbreak Mode. Constant, Neverending, Nerve-grating, Incessant, Irritating, FORTHELOVEOFGODSTOPTHEWHINING Mode.

    Insert joke about karma biting me in the ass here.

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