The Calvinator

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< > October 2005

• Mon, Oct 31, 2005 8:00 PM

  Statistics
  
  Severity of Calvin's tantrums when we forced him to put on his devil costume: HIGH
  
  Number of houses he cried at before realizing he was getting free candy: 3
  
  Number of houses he then willingly (and excitedly) approached in order to receive said candy: At least 12
  
  Pounds of candy received: About 30
  
  Pounds of candy distributed: About 100
  
  Pieces of candy Calvin sampled before passing on to Papa: WAY TOO MANY
  
  Pieces of candy Calvin sampled and actually ate: We lost count
  
  Number of trick-or-treaters that came to our house: 987,654,321
  
  Number of trick-or-treaters that were visibly impressed by our jack-o-lanterns: 10
  
  Number of trick-or-treaters that were still visibly impressed by our jack-o-lanterns after finding out we cheated and used a pattern: 0
  
  Number of trick-or-treaters that commented, "Wow, you have a lot of cats!": 12
  
  Number of trick-or-treaters that asked to pet our cats: 6
  
  Number of ways Milhouse plotted our deaths after we let random kids pet her: 167
  
  How good Calvin was about handing out candy: Scarily good
  
  How many times Calvin attacked Joep with his pitchfork: 8
  
  How hard I laughed: hehehehehehe
  
  Level of hyper we've reachd by 8:00 pm: Off the charts
  
  How much we're dreading putting Calvin to bed this evening: You have no idea.
  
  Number of cavities resulting from this evening: At least 5
  
  Number of pictures taken in the past 2 hours: 96
  
  How excited we all are to do it again next year: Ridiculously

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• Sun, Oct 16, 2005 5:47 PM

  THE WHINING IS OUT OF CONTROL
  
  So the whining is in full-on Outbreak Mode. Constant, Neverending, Nerve-grating, Incessant, Irritating, FORTHELOVEOFGODSTOPTHEWHINING Mode.
  
  Insert joke about karma biting me in the ass here.

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