The Calvinator » December 2004 Journal Entries » AboutMyBaby - online baby scrapbooks, photo albums, videos, birth and pregnancy announcements

< > December 2004

Fri, Dec 31, 2004 4:00 PM
Excuse Me, Your Simpsons Is Showing.

Let me preface this news entry by saying that, once again, you can mail your Worst Mother of the Year award to my office, thank you.

Anyway, compliments of Grandma Linda, Joep got the 5th season of The Simpsons on DVD for Christmas this year.

Last night, Joep & I were in the living room putting some things away when Calvin walks up to us, holding the Simpsons DVD box set and goes, "D'oh!"

Once Joep & I stopped laughing, we reached the sobering realization that instead of learning things like his ABCs or 123s from Sesame Street, our son has picked up a catch-phrase from one of TV's most popular NON-KID shows.

Kind of makes you wonder how we have any business being parents, doesn't it? Especially since we still think it's funny.

Comments:

Add a comment:

Name: Email:
Comment:

Notify me of scrapbook updates
Wed, Dec 22, 2004 11:00 PM
24 Years to Life

Apparently I've pissed off more people than I'd realized. And these people are now taking their revenge in the form of gifts for our son.

Gifts that have to be in our home, in earshot, for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year; you get the idea.

First, it was Grandma Linda and a ray gun disguised as a rocket. A rocket that makes lots of ray gun noises; loud ray gun noises for its entire orbit around the earth. And by "earth", I mean our entire house.

My mom tells me she didn't MEAN to give her grandson an annoying toy. Yeah, right. Just like I didn't MEAN to run it over 7 times with my car this morning.

Oh, settle down, I didn't run it over. But I can dream, can't I?

And then, I got home from class tonight to see that our neighbors, Mike & Anna, dropped off a Christmas gift for Calvin. And I thought to myself, "Oh, how thoughtful of them!" And then Calvin opened it, and THEN I thought to myself, "What did we do to make them hate us so much?"

I thought this, you see, because they gave our child... wait for it... LIMBO ELMO. Complete with BATTERIES.

While listening to Elmo sing in his grating little Elmo voice and dance his annoying little Elmo dance, I began to think back on the past 20 months we've lived in this house; wondering what I might have done for them to enact such wrath on our household. And I can't think of one thing.

All I know is that I'm living my own prison sentence and the warden's name is Limbo Elmo.

Comments:

Add a comment:

Name: Email:
Comment:

Notify me of scrapbook updates
Fri, Dec 17, 2004 11:00 AM
Calvin, aka "The Beanstalk"

Calvin had his 2-year well baby visit this morning. A well baby visit WITHOUT any sharp needles of any kind, thank the Baby God of Crabbiness, Amen.

He weighed in at 29.6 pounds, which is about 2 pounds less what he weighed about a month ago when we took him in for The Goose Egg. His ped chalked it up to a difference in scales and Calvin's picky eating habits the past few days (thanks to his nasty cold), and told me to stop worrying already (have I mentioned that I worry too much?).

Our little beanstalk came in at just a smidge over 36" inches, which means my child is officially in the "tall" category, rather than the, "long" category. Which officially removes him from the "baby" category.

Excuse me, there must be something in my eye.

I don't remember what his head was, but really, all I have to tell you is that he's MY son. And I come from a long line of large-headed people. A long line of people who are discriminated against in countless hat stores across the world. A long line of people who continously fall over for no reason other than their necks can no longer support their heads and just give out. A long line of people who are now going to beat me up when we go home for Christmas next week.

Ahem.

Anyway, other than the lung Calvin horked up twice while we were there, he's doing well. Still not saying many words, but we have that whole bilingual thing going on, so it's to be expected. I, of course, will worry about it until he starts forming proper sentences like he's supposed to, LIKE ALL THE OTHER 2-YEAR-OLDS OUT THERE.

If he hasn't started saying at least 50-100 words in the next 3 months, his ped suggested we might want to consider contacting a speech therapist. But to please stop wrinkling my brow like that, because she isn't worried in the least. Unfortunately, however, I haven't been able to stop worrying since I learned what worrying is, so Calvin, please start saying more words, mm-kay?

BUT. Calvin understands everything he is told (whether or not he obeys is another matter entirely), so that's an excellent sign and most likely means he's just working on the 2 languages he's exposed to and will speak them on his own time.

We are also planning on starting the daunting task of potty training once Christmas is over, which means we've ordered enough Scotch Guard to protect every square inch of our house for the next 20 years.

And with that, Calvin isn't due back until his 3rd birthday, which I refuse to acknowledge because I still haven't accepted the fact that my son is a whole 2 years old. That's TWO YEARS. 734 days old! My god, my child is ancient!

But he's a healthy 734 days old, and that's what really matters. Go, Calvin!

Comments:

Add a comment:

Name: Email:
Comment:

Notify me of scrapbook updates
Tue, Dec 14, 2004 8:00 PM
Happy, Happy Birthday, My Baby

Calvin, you turn 2 years old today and DAMN IT, will you let my heart heal a little bit more before breaking it again, for crying out loud? And while we're at it, who gave you permission to look so grown up at TWO YEARS OLD? Huh?

Good grief, where have the last two years gone? 8 1/2 hours on a plane feel like 2 eternities, yet 2 years go by like *that*. Father Time is screwing with me and I think it's about time he and I had some words.

Calvin, so many things have happened these past two years that I couldn't possibly cover them all; or even half of them. So let's just remember a couple, shall we?

For starters, do you remember the morning you were born? No? Well, I do, and one of the very first things you did in life was pee your first pee on the nurse's head (OVER the cart, no less) and sneeze your first sneeze in Dad's face (I love you, kiddo). Not ONCE did you pee on Mama during all your diaper changes, and for that, I'll buy you a car when you turn 16. Unless you pee on me between now and when you're potty-trained; then you're buying your own car, Slick.

Do you also remember, Calvin, your very first Christmas? Not that, either? Well, I do, and you used to fall asleep on my chest while I'd hum various Christmas carols to you. I'd never sing them because I could never remember the words to them, even though I sang them every. single. year. in all 8 years I spent going to Catholic school. That just goes to show you I was more concerned with falling off the stage during the Christmas concerts than I was with actually singing the songs. Sorry, Mom.

And Calvin, do you remember when we got your 6-month photos taken with Grandma Linda & Uncle Richard? Oh yes, you do. Remember? You had a major blowout and Uncle Richard was generous enough to take you into the unchartered territory that is The Diaper-Changing Station in The Public Restroom to give you a clean, fresh diaper. We'll forever be in debt to Rich for that, because you left a trail of stink so foul and so powerful that we're still not allowed back into that photo studio until you're properly potty-trained.

(See how I've mentioned potty-training twice so far? You know it's coming soon, doncha?)

Right around the time we had your 6-month photos taken, Grandma Linda and Super-Josh came to stay with us for a week and to Spoil You Rotten. Remember Josh, Calvin, because he's a sucker for your cuteness and if you play your cards right, he might just give you a car when you turn 16 (in case you pee on me between now and when you're potty-trained and lose the car I promised you).

I remember all the major milestones you accomplished, like taking your first steps and babbling your first babble, but I don't remember exactly when and I don't have your baby book handy. I guess I was too busy remembering your face, your hands, your chubby legs, your curly hair, your toothless grin, your contagious giggle and your gobblicious belly that the actual date just didn't have room in my brain.

Oh, and how could I forget your first Halloween? Mama's Aunt Mary made you this fantabulous monkey costume WITH HER OWN TWO HANDS ALL BY HERSELF, AND DID I MENTION SHE MADE IT FROM SCRATCH? And God help me, you looked so cute it took my heart 4 months to recover.

Which brings me to this past Halloween when you dressed up as Winnie the Pumpkin Pooh that I bought off eBay WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS ALL BY MYSELF AND DID I MENTION I FOUND IT ON EBAY ALL ON MY OWN? And oh yeah, I also went to Target and found you matching Pooh slippers ALL BY MYSELF. You looked just adorable as well and this year, you were old enough to grasp the trick-or-treating idea and boy did you trick-or-treat for all you were worth. I'm a little scared of next year.

Mom, if you don't hear from us after next Halloween, it's because we're still out trick-or-treating until we all get arrested for solicitation.

And I know I just talked about this and I'm sure you wish I'd just shut up already about our trip, but Calvin, you had such a good time with your Opa, Oma, Uncle Bart & Aunt Maaike and all your other family that I can't help but mention it ONE MORE TIME. You met all sorts of cool people and did so well on the plane that those 11 days will forever be on my mind.

These past 2 years will forever be on my mind and in my heart, and before anyone reading this throws up from all the cheesiness, just remember this: I love you, Calvin, and thank you for giving me the best 2 years I've ever known. I can't tell you how much I look forward to the next 76 years being your mom.

Because of course I'm going to live to be 100 years old because that's the deal I'm going to strike with Father Time for screwing me around.

Happy Birthday, Calvin. Dad & I love you. And I'm going to ask you nicely one more time. Don't grow up so fast, ok? Please? Peas?

Comments:

Add a comment:

Name: Email:
Comment:

Notify me of scrapbook updates
Wed, Dec 8, 2004 7:00 AM
The Incident

Joris, the little boy from the Family Photos folder, has been corrupted by our sweet, Unprompted Peas child.

While at Joep's folks' house, we were all sitting around getting to know Joris and his parents a little better. Little Joris was minding his own business, being all sweet and innocent, when out of nowhere, our child just up and corrupted him. And we all watched as the event left a horrid, ugly scar on poor Joris' innocent soul.

What happened, you ask?

Well, Joep & Calvin have this thing, see, where Joep will ask Calvin for a kiss and sometimes, instead of a kiss, Calvin will reach out and slap Joep across the face. Unfortunately, when he first did this, I made the mistake of laughing out loud because I find any kind of Joep's minor misfortunes to be funny (I'm sorry, Joep. No, really, I am!).

Because of this, Calvin thinks what he did was a good thing and has continued to do it. We've been working with him to subsitute smacking with a loving gesture, but he sometimes forgets, hence The Incident.

Well, anyway, after being baby-slapped, Joep pretended to get knocked over and he fell to the floor.

Poor, sweet, innocent Joris watched the whole scene with huge, innocent, virgin eyes and was just shocked by the violent image he'd just witnessed. So shocked, in fact, that his face contorted and he began to cry the biggest guilt-inducing tears I'd ever seen come out of such a small person. I'm not sure if he was scared FOR Joep or scared OF Calvin (maybe both?), but either way, it broke my not-quite-healed-yet-from-the-unprompted-peas-incident heart into a million pieces to see another child brought to tears because of something MY child did.

(You can mail your Worst Mother of the Year awards to my office, thank you.)

Nobody in the room was quite sure what to make of what had just happened, but we all tried to assure Joris that it was, indeed, only a joke and that Joep was perfectly fine. Then we made sure Joris saw us show and tell Calvin not to hit, but to give hugs instead. After a few minutes, Joris felt safe enough to leave his father's lap and play once again with the seemingly interminably violent Calvin.

After Joep & I apologized over and over again to Joris' parents for our child having upset their child, I tried to forget about it and focus instead on working with Calvin to understand that hitting hurts and to KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY, KID.

Anyway, after being back home for several days, Joep tells me that he got an email from his family saying that not only has Joris fully recovered from the trauma, but that he and his parents have now made a game out of The Incident and that Joris now thinks it's hilarious.

Atta boy, Joris. I'm so relieved to know that you don't seem to be forever scarred from The Incident, but I'm still so sorry my family scared the bejeebus out of you. We clumsy Americans are sometimes like that and just don't know our own strength.

But I promise you, Joris, that Calvin's little hands don't hurt. Much. Yet. Except for that one time that he got a little over-hyper and couldn't help but smack my leg RIGHT ON THE SPOT WHERE I'D RECENTLY BRUISED THE LIVING HELL OUT OF IT ON JOEP'S PARENTS' BATHTUB FAUCET AND WAS LEFT WITH A BIG, PURPLE SPOT, COMPLETE WITH A KNOB.

Oh my god in heaven, how that hurt.

Comments:

Add a comment:

Name: Email:
Comment:

Notify me of scrapbook updates
Sun, Dec 5, 2004 9:00 AM
Home Sweet Home

Ahhhhhh, we've been home for 2 days now and it still looks like a clothing and toy bomb exploded in our house. It's not our fault, though. We blame it all on the time change. It's ridiculous how hard it really hits you.

One minute you're in the kitchen, putting things away, and the next thing you know, you're curled up inside the dishwasher, wondering where the last 4 hours went. I think we're finally starting to adjust, though. I think the Sleep Fairy has found another family to torture.

Wow, where do I begin? We've seen so many wonderful things and people in the last 2 weeks, it's insane. Well, let's start with the beginning. The Plane Trip.

No, no, it went just fine, actually. No, really! Calvin did just beautifully and Joep is an old pro at this. I pouted in my seat, silently plotting to shave the guy's head in front of me because he felt it necessary to have his seat reclined THE WHOLE FRIGGIN' TIME. Which left me with about negative 3 inches of leg room. For 7 and 1/2 hours.

When we landed, I couldn't even stand up properly. They had to drag me off the plane until the feeling returned to my legs and I was hit with the mother of all cases of PINS AND NEEDLES. I screamed for hours.

Then it was time to meet Joep's family. I don't remember much because I was so nervous my brain threatened to put me into a coma until I calmed down. But what I do remember is that we rounded the corner at the airport after collecting our luggage and saw 4 people who were so excited to see their son/brother again and then to finally see their grandson/nephew and daughter/sister-in-law that they knocked us down and smothered us with hugs.

Ok, not really, but they gave us such a warm welcome. Nicest people you could ever meet. I mean, c'mon. These people got up at the butt-crack of dawn to drive to the airport in the morning, IN THE DARK to pick us up. If that doesn't say "love", then I don't know what does.

On our way to their house, we stopped at this beautiful Castle Muiden that was surrounded by gorgeous landscaping and an actual moat. I tell you, if I hadn't been so delirious from lack of sleep, I probably would have rememebered a lot more about it. I DO remember, however, that it was gorgeous. You can see photos by clicking on the link at the main page of this website, called "Castle Muiden".

The rest of the trip to Joep's old house is all a blur as I slipped in an out of consciousness, trying my hardest not to snort myself awake or snore or drool all over my father-in-law's car. I'm not sure if I succeeded, see, because I was only partially conscious. If I did snort, snore or drool, they were all kind enough to ignore it. See? Told you. Nicest people in the world.

When we got to the house, my mother-in-law, Juliette, informed us that our room was ready if we wanted to sleep for a bit. Did she really have to ask? We crawled up the stairs to our room (Joep's old bedroom) and vaguely remember lying down before crashing. I swear to god we only slept 10 minutes, but Maaike swears it was more like 3 hours. Either way, we felt a lot better after that.

That Friday, Joep & I took the train to Eindhoven (a nearby city) to do some shopping. And any of those who know me just a little know that I despise shopping with every ounce of my being. However, believe it or not, I had the most wonderful time walking around the city with Joep. I loved soaking up all the new things to see and all the new people to meet. Oh, and despite that pesky urine smell, my first train ride was pretty damn cool.

On Saturday and Sunday, Calvin & I met Joep's extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends, etc.). A large group of people whose names I'm embarrassed to say I couldn't pronounce, no matter how many times they repeated themselves.

I'M SORRY, JOEP'S FAMILY!

At any rate, they were all the nicest, funniest, sweetest people you could ask for and I was sad to see them go at the end of the day. Calvin was a perfect gentleman and mingled like a good little host. We'll just pretend he didn't steal toys from the other little kids - and even some of the bigger kids.

On the following Monday, Joep's dad, Henk, drove us up to the North Sea (Atlantic Ocean) so we could see the beach and the Delta Works. You can see photos of this in Calvin's photo gallery. And you think there are a lot there? Pfft, that wasn't even half of them. Did I mention I'm a little camera happy? And so is Bart (Joep's brother), so get us together and, well.. you can see the damage we did.

The beach was just amazing. It was an overcast day and you could hardly tell where the water ended and the sky began. And god help me, all I could think was, "Didn't I see this on The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross once?".

The sand there was so fine and soft - nothing like the beaches I've seen near my hometown. Calvin was a little obsessed with squeezing the living hell out of it. He'd grab two big baby handfuls of sand and just squeeeeeeze for all he was worth. Ok, so maybe I was doing it, too, but nobody ever accused me acting like an adult.

I was sorry to leave the beach - I think I could have stayed there forever and been happy. No wonder so many people market those relaxation CDs with sounds of the beach. Go out and buy those CDs, people! Or better yet, take yourself out to the beach and experience it for yourself.

The next day, we got to see TWO MORE CASTLES. Yes, I was in heaven. The first one was the ruins of Castle Valkenburg (see link on the front page of this website). This place was breathtaking and I blew through about 3 rolls of film here. You can also see photos of this place in the photo gallery titled, "Castle Ruins".

Afterwards, Joep's parents dropped Joep & me off at the Castle Geulzicht where I was shocked into silence at its beauty. Really, the photos in the photo gallery and in the link on the front page don't do this place any justice, whatsoever. This castle is tucked away on a small hill in the Geul Valley, but it feels like you're miles away from civilization in some romance novel that only an author with an incredible imagination could dream up.

The view from our room was gorgeous and I would have stayed out on our balcony the entire time if I didn't care about losing my extremities to the cold. I was incredibly sorry to leave the next morning. If you're ever in the area, GO TO THIS CASTLE and spend the night. You'll be drunk with awe. I was, and I'm still suffering from the hangover.

We spent the next few days with Joep's family. The day before we left, Joep, Calvin & I walked around Oirschot (where his family lives) and soaked everything up. This place is just adorable. Every house is either brick or stone and all the roads in the village are like cobblestone.

There is an amazing cathedral there that I took several photos of (that are in the photo gallery titled, "Oirschot") as well as the area itself.

In the early mornings and evenings, fog and mist descends upon the area and gives it a haunting feeling of mystery. Unfortunately, fog doesn't exactly photograph that well, so I don't have any good photos of this.

I do, however, have photos of some deer that people keep as pets there. I know it's only a couple of deer, but HOLY COW, I WAS SO CLOSE. Seeing a pair of deer peaceful in a pasture is a lot different than seeing a deer in your headlights as you scream you head off and crash into a nearby ditch as you swerve to avoid them.

Oops, sorry for destroying the sweet mental image I was working on.

Basically, it was an amazing week and a half and I will never, ever forget it. I know Calvin won't remember much, if anything, but I will make sure he always knows what a fabulous time he had with his Opa & Oma and his Aunt Maaike and Uncle Bart and all the rest of his family and friends there.

Thank you, everyone, for all you did to help us have such a wonderful time there. And to Bart, the Yahtzee Master, I still haven't beat your high score of 528, but BY GOD I BEAT YOUR OLD SCORE OF 420!

Comments:

Add a comment:

Name: Email:
Comment:

Notify me of scrapbook updates
Sat, Dec 4, 2004 4:59 AM
NETHERLANDS OR BUST!

We're home! We're home! We survived the Very Long Plane Trips with minimal issues. We even had FOUR DIFFERENT PEOPLE boost our egos by saying how wonderfully behaved Calvin was. Yep, you read that right: MY child was well-behaved for long periods of time. His Mama Moody Genes must have been too exhausted to make an appearance. Mine, however, were rampant.

I hate airports and airplanes. And now everyone in Europe knows it.

Anyway, when we stop acting like severe narcoleptics, I'll be back to post more details about our first major vacation as a family. Bottom line? It was wonderful and I hope Calvin is able to remember at least a vague idea of how good of a time he had with his paternal family. Thankfully, I will always remember.

Comments:

Add a comment:

Name: Email:
Comment:

Notify me of scrapbook updates